I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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