last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
