The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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