Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
