At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
