Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize