Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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