thus making me awesome and them whores
I need to stop coming to work sober
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
