fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
