just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
