I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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