life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
