Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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