also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
