So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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