I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
