I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
