i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
