What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
