problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
