What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
