Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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