She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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