i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
