Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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