I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
