Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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