apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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