hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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