sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
