Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
