the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
