I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
True but thats because hes a fetus.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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