We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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