people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
