ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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