i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize