Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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