I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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