i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I have aggressive nipples.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
