did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
