I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
