I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
