Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Randomize
