you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
