Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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