I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
