we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
