so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Randomize
