i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
