The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
