Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
