You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
