I think im going to throw up on grandma
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
