I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
