Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
