i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
