There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
