Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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