Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
