After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
